Two days in a row! That’s as impressive as the Toronto Raptors having a winning season, or Celine Dion going on a 60 year hiatus from live performances.

Today is jump training, which I find is one of the hardest workouts to maneuver through. It puts the X in P90X says Tony Horton. Yes, that’s true. The first time I did this workout, I showered in cool water for about 30 minutes after.

So today, I’m feeling good. My chest is a little weak, but thankfully, it’s all about legs today. So here goes.

(post work out) I like sitting down. My legs are noodled out, and I haven’t sweat like that in a long time. Six large cups of water, and I need more. What I’ve noticed already is that I’m incredibly hungry. Not like bored-eating, but I’m needing more food at supper.

Let me mention where I’m working out. I’m a big guy, at 6’4″ 210 lbs. But we run a day home from our house, so space is limited. So I work out in a 6′ x 15′ office with a low roof (I frequently hit my hand while jumping). However, it works. During tire jumps, or rock star jumps particularly, I have found that the space is sufficient. And again, the workout does feel good after a day of sitting at my couch, working online and studying for my last semester in school.

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So this is day one. And I have to admit, I started for two days last week, but then had to stop due to a recurring neck injury. So I’m a little stronger than last week. Call it my cheater round.

This is the day of reckoning. I’ve taken my ‘before’ pictures. I’ll admit, I’m a bit nervous because of how out of shape I am. I work at a desk making websites and consulting for media projects that other corporations have on the go. The only real exercise that I get is wrestling with my two kids. So chances are, I’m not in shape.

(post work out) Holy balls, batman. I am tired. Chin ups are not something I have done since last round, and before that, it was in grade 6 when I was 70 pounds and could hang up there for hours, all for the sake of a red badge declaring me an ‘excellent’ athlete. To be honest, the first go around last week, I hated every pushup that I had to do. I even failed during the military pushups to do one in the second round. But today, I felt a little bit better as my core has been shocked into motion. So the chin ups, while I didn’t excel over last week’s numbers, are slightly better and less shakey. The pushups actually began to feel good as the workout progressed. I’m a little encouraged today – it was a good release from my sit-on-the-couch-all-day normal routine. A good way to finish the day.

The other new find was this – I actually like Tony Horton’s banter, but I tried it today with music and cues. It was much better, in that I could focus on what I was doing.

Okay, no more shakey typing. I rest.

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To be blunt, this is not a 2011 self-improvement project. This is my second attempt at working through a challenge.

In 2010, I undertook a workout program called P90X. And for three weeks, I managed to do it faithfully before finally falling apart and getting sick for 10 months. So here is my second attempt. And for each day, minus the seventh day, I will be blogging about my experience. There is no sell behind this, no sales pitch. I’m not a beachbody coach, or someone under the employ of Beachbody.com (although last time when I attempted this, within 2 weeks I had 3 offers of beachbody coaches). So perhaps this is an exercise in collecting coaches, or it might be something that actually works for my benefit. But on this site I’ll take an honest look at P90X for the average person, to see if it’s something that someone with two kids and full-time work can actually accomplish.

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There is nothing more agonizing than the days before a long weekend (except for the days after a long weekend). You stare at the clock, you do some mindless work, you envision what you’re going to do this weekend, and eventually, you find yourself staring back at the clock. If you belong to the work environment that believes in analog clocks, the hands of the clock seem that they’re stuck, so much so that someone inevitably asks if the batteries still work. They do. I’m not sure if these are tips, or suggestions, or just my way of filling time until the long weekend strikes. At any rate, this will fill your time until the long weekend arrives, and you can bank it’ll be at least one minute closer after you’re finished reading.

Activities to Usher in the Long Weekend: the pre-long weekend edition

1. Appreciate the shapes and lines of the clock that you are staring at (preferably the one with hands). Go through each number, stating why you like the way that number is formed. “I like the 1, because it reminds me that I have one day remaining of mind-numbing, rubber-stamping, endlessly meeting employment.” Say these out loud in a monotone voice, preferably within earshot of other employees.

2. Do not daydream. That only leads to spontaneous tears of frustration. But if you must, act out your daydreams. Dive in the lake, lay on the beach, the limit is only in your imagination.

3. Remember those staff-building activities? NOW is the time to bring them out! What’s more fun than playing leapfrog down the office stairs?

4. Straighten your paper clips. And after you’re done straightening them, build a really cool slingshot that can theoretically hit the cubicle located furthest from yours. Declare war, and build alliances with those closest to you.

5. See how much water you can drink in an hour, and then try and break that record. It’s not only healthy, it really becomes fun at about 2 or 3 in the afternoon.

6. Show the office manager a “really great new interfacing program”. Make sure it contains a mild virus, or something that is really annoying and takes you the next 4 hours to get rid of. Apologize after, and suggest that they get better virus protection.

7. Take an online quiz about bacon. Send this quiz around to co-workers. I had this happen once, and it brought the team together with tears and joyness, and led us to the greatest profits of the quarter.*
* – didn’t happen, but we learned more about ourselves through bacon

8. Japanese game shows! This is one sure-fire way to bring together all your designers, programmers, writers, and financial guys into one common purpose. Again, it’s all about team-building!

9. Carry a note, not a tune. Just one note, sung at the top of your lungs, with your mouth shaped like an opera singer’s (think projection!). Then walk through the entire office and into the bathroom, whereupon you’ll switch notes after about 10 seconds.

10. Make a Wikipedia document about your workplace. I’ve mentioned this before, but I worked with a great team of individuals at my work who graciously let me fill in wiki details about ‘sweat shop’, describing the place that I worked. Not only did I keep my job, it stayed on wiki for about 30 minutes! Go team!

11. Someone’s got a birthday! And if they don’t, they do now! Bring in a cake with an extra icing tube and write a random co-worker’s name on it. Surprise them with a mid-day birthday bash. And eat cake.

12. Go for an hour of silence. Use Sticky-notes to communicate.

13. Page yourself on the intercom, but give yourself important titles. I think this helped me get promoted when I worked at Staples a long time ago.

14. Scream at the top of your lungs. But only if there’s more than one person working with you. See how many people you can scare today.

15. The InterOffice Bobsled Team. Except with rolling chairs. Choose your teammates wisely, especially if you have Olympic aspirations.

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I mean no disrespect, but earthworms are gross when they’re dead.

I have been revisited by another earthworm in my office, lying dead on my floor, partially crushed by my office chair rollers. Gross. And today again, with the religious significance of earthworms, the repercussions have been immediate and earth-shattering. In the Edmonton Journal, under the Breaking News section, I have learned of an event that will change my life forever.

Meat Loaf has canceled their show in Edmonton.

Remember Meat Loaf? They sang that song about the time when they did stuff? I’ll admit, I bought a Meat Loaf CD about 20 years ago, mostly because I forgot my brother’s birthday and picked two random CDs from Radio Shack. I remember being very disappointed that the Meat Loaf CD smelled like new plastic, and nothing like my mother’s homemade meatloaf (I must have been ahead of the marketing game at this point). This got me thinking about other completely irrelevant events that have transpired lately. I’ll leave out 99% of my experience in University (and will spare you the sorrow) and instead focus on other events of irrelevance that are sure to change your life:

1-Celine Dion went to École Berlitz in 1989 to polish her English. Ironically, this is also the year that President George H. W. Bush bans the importation of assault rifles into the United States.

2-Barney the dinosaur’s theme song is Barney is a dinosaur. I can’t believe that the show has been criticized for lack of educational value.

3-A booger is defined by children everywhere as an enjoyable green snack to be picked only when ripe, or somewhat crunchy. The second definition of booger is “a ghost or hobgoblin, used to frighten children.” Perhaps the booger is the ultimate snack, filling childrens’ bellies while elevating their heart rate in fear. Move over, peanut butter.

4-Bok choy has been found to be good for you in small doses, and toxic in large doses. In other news, air is good for you, but breathing really fast for long periods of time will make you pass out.

5-Last night, Disneyland steamed cleaned it cobblestone streets like it does every night.

6-The average American uses 50 pounds of toilet paper per year which is 50% more than Western countries or Japan. Surely, this is a sign that McDonald’s is a good source of fiber.

7-Chris Farley was originally supposed to be the voice of Shrek, but he died. The world weeps over the loss of a cartoonified Tommy Boy.

8-There are about 3,500 species of mosquitoes found throughout the world. And 90% lie in wait for you to start a campfire.

9-Winston Churchill’s partial dentures, which were designed to hide his lisp, recently sold for $24,000. Difficult choice – feed the poor or purchase an additional set of teeth that have chomped on cigars and gnashed at Hitler?

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